"My brain: it's my second favorite organ.
Don't knock masturbation — it's sex with someone I love.
I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down." (Woody Allen)